Release Blitz, Excerpt & Giveaway:
The Orc and the Manny
By Chloe Archer
Monsters Hollow, Book 1
Welcome to Monsters Hollow, where love knows no bounds—even in a town full of monsters!
Targan Wildethorne
A confirmed bachelor, and a historian by training, I haven’t the faintest clue how to care for twin orclings when I unexpectedly become their guardian. I’d love to retreat into the comforting sanctuary of my study, surrounded by my books and papers, but first I need to hire someone to help me with the children. Someone who can teach me the ropes of this new role.
Thank the Light for the All-Species Specialized Employment Services! In my most dire hour of need, they find the perfect nanny—ahem, manny—to help me look after my young wards. Now I can finally get back to writing my history of orc folklore for a few hours a day.
Or so I thought.
Instead I find the captivating new man in my home far too distracting. Max is so much more than I had expected. I’ve never fallen for a human before, but I can’t get him out of my mind. Could he ever feel the same about an orc? Humans are usually too intimidated by our large size and outer appearance. Can Max look past my green skin and tusks to see a man with a heart that yearns for him? And if he does, when he learns the truth about the children will the danger on the horizon send him running?
Max MacLeod
Working with kids is totally my jam and I’m damn good at what I do. Just call me Maxy Frickin’ Poppins! When a new job prospect comes my way, I’m intrigued. A chance to move to Mystic Hollow (aka Monsters Hollow) to be a well-paid manny for two adorable orclings? Talk about a dream position. Sold! But when I lock eyes with the seriously sexy orc who’s their guardian—and my new de facto boss—for the first time, I’m a goner. Big, muscular, and green all over–he’s giving me full-on Hulk meets stern professor vibes—and I likeit.
As I get to know him, over meals with the kids during the day and soft-spoken conversations about history at night, I soon realize there’s so much more to Targan than the gorgeous orc who keeps starring in all my naughtiest dreams. He’s quite possibly the kindest, gentlest man I’ve ever met. And he accepts and appreciates every part of me and my flamboyant, full-figured fabulousness. I just want to feed and take care of him—and find out if he’s so deliciously big everywhere. Before I know it, I’m dreaming of being part of a forever family with him and his adorable twins. But an unexpected threat looms in the shadows that could threaten the safety of us all…
The Orc and the Manny is a (94k words) cozy small town M/M monster romance featuring a Hulkalicious silver fox orc professor who's better with books than kids, a flamboyant human manny with ALL the skills (think Nathan Lane in The Birdcage meets Mary Poppins), an age gap, a size difference, a three-headed hellhound and a feisty rescue Chihuahua, two adorable orcling twins, and copious amounts of orc…joy!
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Excerpt
“Well, Princess Peach, this is it.”
My sweet baby, a feisty rescue Chihuahua, gives a little yip of agreement and I scratch under her chin. She nuzzles me back with pleasure. Today she’s wearing a cute little pink shirt with the words “I’m a princess” spelled out in silver sequins.
Princess Peach had a hard life before I rescued her. I don't know all the details, but the shelter found evidence that she’d likely been used for breeding purposes in a far from humane situation. They believe she was abandoned on the streets when she was no longer able to provide new litters of puppies for whatever illegal operation had been going on.
After her tough life on the streets, I decided she deserves to always look as fabulous as she is. She may have a torn ear and be missing half of her teeth, but she’s beautiful through and through. I’ve matched our color scheme today by wearing a darling pink blouse with flowy pirate sleeves under my rainbow chiffon duster vest. The outfit is finished with a pair of shiny black leggings that hug my ample thighs and a sweet pair of purple ankle boots.
My foster mom would have been proud. I’m totally channeling my inner Stevie Nicks.
Adjusting my oversized purse—with everything a manny could ever need in a pinch—higher on my shoulder, I tuck Princess Peach gently under my arm and climb the steps to the front door of the enormous three-story Victorian. Painted gray with white and blue gingerbread lattice work, the home looks a bit tame for me, but I suppose I can see the classic appeal. It’s still an impressive old house even with the bland exterior and I can’t wait to get a peek inside.
After all, this is going to be our new home for the next little while, provided all goes well.
Pressing the doorbell button, I admire my freshly painted sparkly purple nails in the process. The fading twilight of evening starts to turn to darkness around me as I wait. It took me longer than I had planned to get here.
I hear the bell chime loudly within but get no response.
After several long moments, I ring it again. They are expecting me after all. Right?
Just when I’m about to press the bell a third time, the door slowly creaks open to reveal an orc with wispy white hair and stooped with age. He’s wearing a butler’s livery and shuffles to the side as if to bid me enter. I have a fraction of a moment to stare into the large entryway of the house before my brain has to process a whole lot of chaos all at once.
Two young orclings, presumably my charges, are headed my way as they chase each other. One of them is holding—is that an axe? Off to my left, I spy the intimidating but gorgeous gargoyle who interviewed me for the job—hello, sexy—but I stop breathing when I lay eyes on the man beside him.
This orc is not old and he’s hot like fire.
He’s rocking full-on Hulk meets stern professor vibes and I am so here for it.
Unfortunately, I also suspect he’s my new boss.
I don’t have more than that flicker of an instant to admire him because an enormous three-headed creature comes barreling straight toward me as the two little orclings it’s chasing deftly feint one direction and then swerve out of the way at the last second, leaving me to face my fate.
Talk about a trial by fire in my first few seconds on the job.
Also, why the heck did no one tell me there was a motherfreaking hellhound in this house!
On instinct, I tuck Princess Peach’s head carefully in my armpit so I can cover both her ears. She settles in, trusting me implicitly, as always. Then I lift the whistle around my neck and give it a sharp blow, bringing the hellhound to a whining, screeching halt a few inches in front of me.
Phew! That was a close call.
As tall as the enormous front entrance, the gigantic beast towers over me, tongues lolling out of its three heads, momentarily dazed and confused by the dog whistle I always carry with me. You’d be surprised how handy it is when my baby and I go on walks. There are too many idiots out there with no control over their unleashed dogs, and I sometimes have to protect my precious little angel.
I reposition Princess Peach in the crook of my arm where she settles happily and kiss the top of her soft little head, getting a lick of appreciation in return before I take a deep breath and call forth my most dominant voice to utter the order, “Sitz!”
The hellhound cocks its three heads and looks at me confused.
Maybe he hasn’t learned German commands? That’s what my dog trainer taught me. Hmm…
Princess Peach snarls at him.
He immediately drops his rump to the floor with a ground-shaking thump.
I beam. “Platz!” I order next.
The hellhound cocks his three heads in the other direction, acting clueless.
My precious fur baby lets out a guttural growl and snaps out a warning.
The enormous beast lies in the down position, ears on each head flat, but all three tails wagging hopefully.
“Gut,” I praise as I reach into my purse—so much classier than Mary Poppins’s carpet bag—to pull out a plastic baggie with my stash of dog biscuits, then pluck out a handful. I’m fairly certain they’re fine for a hellhound if my dog can eat them.
After all, I baked them myself.
Enter the Giveaway:
To celebrate the release of The Orc and the Manny, Chloe is giving away a $5 Amazon Gift Card, and a Signed Copy of the release!
Enter the Rafflecopter giveaway for your chance to win!
Direct Link: https://bit.ly/TOatMGiveaway
About the Author:
Chloe Archer writes M/M sci-fi and paranormal rom coms with laugh out loud humor because she’s all about bringing the funny-sexy back. Oh, yeah!
She currently calls Minnesota home, but has lived abroad in places like Montreal, Edinburgh, and Tokyo. She’s hoping to relocate to Scotland permanently one day if the stars align.
Chloe is a fur mama to two adorable Yorkies, Jasper and Teddy, and she loves them in a crazy dog mama kind of way. When she isn’t busy writing, she enjoys visiting friends and family, traveling, reading, binge watching movies and TV shows, and practicing her karaoke skills. She does a mean cover of Pat Benatar and Cher, or so she’s been told.
Connect with Chloe:
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